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Strange title. Not from where I am right now. My life feels like just that. A whirling tornado. So much spinning around. Emotions, the death of my parents,selling my childhood home, moving away to start a new life.
The death of my parents, within a year of each other, has been a tough road. My father, who I was very close to, has been tough to deal with. I miss the man. He was high maintainance, demanding, anal on some things. But, his sense of humor is what I miss the most.Cause even when he was suffering terrible he could still crack a joke!! Besides that, he was a very kind man. That type of kindness doesn’t seem to be made anymore. What a shame! One thing we all could use more of: kindness.
My Mom, who I thought I wasn’t very close to, has been a surprising grief. When she passed away, I actually felt it as a physical parting. I felt the tearing away of her spirit on a physical level. It was very profound and still affects me a year and a half later. It has made me think of the Divine connection between mothers and their children. Mothers carry them within their bodies for 9 months. The babies are physically and spiritually linked for that period of time. I don’t believe that after the birth we lose that connection, just the physical, the spiritual connection remains in tact, from my experience, till death. The tearing away has created a raw spot on my heart. By writing this and sharing it with all of you, I hope the tear will start healing. I want to remember the joys and the love I received from both of them my whole life, not the tearing away. I want my heart to bear the evidence of their love and not terrible scars of grief.
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